Hijiyama the Jacket Snatcher

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Script

Sunset
Kaede River Riverbed
1985
Takemi Wajima and his gang stand around the path at the riverbed.
Takemi Wajima: Startin' to think he ain't gonna show.
Wajima's Crony: He knows you'd beat his ass, Wajima-san!
Wajima's Crony: Probably shittin' his pants right now.
Takemi Wajima: Turned tail and ran, huh?
Takemi Wajima: Guess he didn't have the balls after all.
Takatoshi Hijiyama walks through the group, holding a yakisoba pan. As he passes, Takemi Wajima elbows him, but he continues walking.
Takemi Wajima: Whoa, hold it.
Takatoshi Hijiyama stops, and turns to face Takemi Wajima.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: What?
Consider: Yakisoba Pan
Takatoshi Hijiyama: Noodles stir-fried in sauce, enfolded in sweetened bread...
Takatoshi Hijiyama: I don't trust much in this post-war world...
Takatoshi Hijiyama: But if there's an exception, it's my yakisoba pan.
Takemi Wajima: Don't gimme that shit.
Takemi Wajima: Nearly knocked my friggin' arm out of its socket.
Wajima's Crony: You wanna apologize?
Takatoshi Hijiyama: Oh, did I hit you?
Takatoshi Hijiyama: Sorry about that.
Takemi Wajima: You're sorry?
Takemi Wajima: "Sorry" don't pay my goddamn hospital bills.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: So? I don't have money, if that's what you're after.
Wajima's Crony: Wait, Wajima-san, I heard about him...
Wajima's Crony: People been talkin' about this guy.
Wajima's Crony: He's the one who's been snatchin' all the jackets!
Takemi Wajima: The hell?
Takemi Wajima: Wait, yeah...
Takemi Wajima: This guy's wearin' one of our uniforms.[1]
Takatoshi Hijiyama: Oh, so you know the guy who owned this?
Takatoshi Hijiyama: I don't have any relatives around.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: I'm basically homeless at the moment.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: So the clothes and the cash were a really big help.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: He was a generous guy. Tell him I said thanks.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: Take care.
Takatoshi Hijiyama walks away, and Takemi Wajima starts to follow him.
Takemi Wajima: Hey, don't you walk away!
Takemi Wajima grabs Takatoshi Hijiyama's shoulder, causing him to drop his yakisoba pan.
Takemi Wajima: C'mon!
Takatoshi Hijiyama: Agh!
Takatoshi Hijiyama walks over to his fallen yakisoba pan, inspecting it.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: My yakisoba pan...
Takatoshi Hijiyama: I didn't even get a single bite...
Takatoshi Hijiyama turns around, arms at his sides, ready to fight.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: You just made a big mistake, punk.
Takemi Wajima: You got a problem with me, buddy?
Takatoshi Hijiyama: You're the one who's about to have a problem.
Takemi Wajima walks over to his gang, addressing them.
Takemi Wajima: You heard him, boys.
Takemi Wajima: Sic 'im.
Takatoshi Hijiyama rushes over to them, and the screen fades to black as they fight. When they come back into view, Takemi Wajima and his gang are defeated and laying on the ground. Takatoshi Hijiyama stands in the middle of them, frowning.
Takemi Wajima: Stop! We're sorry!
Wajima's Crony: L-Look, we'll get you another snack, man!
Takatoshi Hijiyama: I've got no mercy for people who waste food.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: Especially yakisoba pan.
Nenji Ogata walks over, surveying the scene in front of him.
Nenji Ogata: The hell happened?
Nenji Ogata: I thought you called me out for a fight, Wajima.
Nenji Ogata: Someone wanna tell me what I missed here?
Takatoshi Hijiyama: And who are you? A friend of theirs?
Nenji Ogata: I'm Nenji Ogata, from Sakura High.
Nenji Ogata: I didn't ask you to fight my battles, pal.
Nenji Ogata: Wait, it's you...
Nenji Ogata: You're that Jacket Snatcher. Hijiyama or somethin'...
Takatoshi Hijiyama: Takatoshi Hijiyama, at your service.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: I told them I didn't need the help,
Takatoshi Hijiyama: but they wouldn't take no for an answer.
Nenji Ogata: Yeah, I'll bet.
Nenji Ogata: Drop the tough guy act already.
Takatoshi Hijiyama squares up.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: I could say the same thing.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: Don't go picking fights you can't win.
Nenji Ogata: I've heard enough, douchebag.
Nenji Ogata: And you owe me a fight.
Nenji Ogata steps away, and gets ready to fight, facing Takatoshi Hijiyama. Takatoshi Hijiyama approaches.
Nenji Ogata: Come at me.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: Well, you're gonna regret it...
Takatoshi Hijiyama suddenly notices Tsukasa Okino standing nearby. He is wearing a gakuran, dressed as a boy.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: ...?
Nenji Ogata: Come at me.
Nenji Ogata: Bring it.
Takatoshi Hijiyama walks toward Tsukasa Okino.
Tsukasa Okino: What the...
Tsukasa Okino: Well, look at this.
Tsukasa Okino: I guess you fit right in here in the '80s.
Tsukasa Okino: Here I figured I'd have to check up on you.
Tsukasa Okino walks away.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: Wh—
Takatoshi Hijiyama: I know that voice... and that face...!
Takatoshi Hijiyama takes off running after him, but Nenji Ogata blocks his path.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: Wait!
Nenji Ogata: Oh, no.
Nenji Ogata: I came for a fight, and I'm gettin' one.
Takatoshi Hijiyama gets ready to fight.
Takatoshi Hijiyama: Out of my way, dammit!


Notes

  1. Takatoshi Hijiyama is wearing a uniform from Nigakuri Industrial School, the school that Takemi Wajima attends.